Thursday, August 30, 2007

Back Again

I thought I'd update you guys.

After a lot of thought and prayer I decided to go back to India instead of school this semester. I have received much criticism about this decision. The general consensus is why not finish school first? My answer: Why not go back to India? I don't want to be limited in my education just to the classroom. It's no secret how I stink at that anyways. So to all of you skeptics out there, I will be learning in India too! And to those who are supportive of my decision, please encourage me...I'm a bit nervous.

I'm so excited I can't stand it, but I am also scared to death. I know God wants me back in India. From the moment I stepped foot off of Indian soil, He was already shaping how and when I would return. But with my return comes a lot of change from my last trip. For one, I will be without any companions from home. Kyle was a huge support to me and I will miss having him there with me. I will also not have him to stick up for me and make sure that I am being taken care of. India is a male dominated society and it can be quite intimidating at times being a female. Now I am a brave girl, but I also walk a fine line between being an American and visitor while also respecting their culture. My last trip also came with a few specific "jobs" that we were assigned to. This time I will be spread across a lot of areas, which I have zero experience. I am looking forward to all the possibilities but I am also scared of the responsibility that goes along with them. I guess in all this my biggest fear is that I will be more of a burden than a help. I desire so deeply to be used fully by God, but what does that look like? Near the end of our last trip I whined to God about how I didn't think I was being used. I felt like I had spent so much time doing my "jobs" that I had barely made any relationships. I was wrong. I did make some incredible friendships, and had huge impacts of the lives there as well did they on me. I love it when God shows me things like that! I hope and pray for the same with this trip. I hope that God will continue to use me as His vessel of love and light. I pray that He humbles me to be able to do that. I know that God will be leading me, my prayer is that I will follow Him, that this trip be His will for me and not my will shaped into His.

I will be praying for everyone back home while I am gone and I ask that you also keep India and myself in your prayers. I will do my best to keep updates on what is going on there. My email will also be the same as before.

cgmcdonough@gmail.com

I leave September 5th and will be back on December 18th. Pray for India. Pray for the Mercy Home kids. Pray for the Christians there. Pray for hearts to be opened to God. And pray for me...

I love you all very much and can't wait to hear from you (that means you should write me!)